david is thankful for: November 29, 2007
Posted by david in Creative Non-Fiction, Poetry.1 comment so far
david is thankful for:
friends who take him to the symphony
friends who take him to olive garden
friends who open up their freezer and start throwing things into a bag for him to take back to his humble abode
friends who make him laugh
friends who never stop being friends
the fact that he has a warm bed to sleep in, plenty of food, and a nice university to go to
friends who drive out to his gassless car and fill its tank
the sandwich but
david is most thankful for friends with great lines like: “i can’t possibly hate anybodies dancing” — translation “give er biscuits white boy”
and just in case your wondering, after the day that i had, giving er biscuits felt pretty darn good.
hair[un]dresser November 21, 2007
Posted by david in Musings.add a comment
i walked by a salon today, a hairdresser slowly panned her head as i strolled past.
she had a greedy look in her eyes.
table tennis November 6, 2007
Posted by david in Musings.1 comment so far
i don’t know who leaked my secret training video, but now that its on the internet i might as well claim it.
this is me practicing my new serve to use against one john mccomish, the terror of team raptor
cooking! (BA DA BAP BAAAA!) with the green nose! (APPLAUSE) – (cuz he knows — OH I KNOWS! — how to cook good food for every nose, especially a green nose knows) November 1, 2007
Posted by david in Creative Fiction, Creative Non-Fiction, Musings.1 comment so far
1.two packages of 11 cent no name ichi-ban
into the pot. (when i say pot i mean put them in a dirty micro-wave and let er rip.)
2.one disturbingly large frozen chicken breast
into the micro wave. (actually you shouldn’t do this, cuz it stinks up the area and people will call you a green nose)
3. chicken
into the pan.
4. look at your spices, nothing eh? no curry powder? open some weird chicken tikka marinade that smells horrific. close. do not use!
5. cumin, sesame seeds, mike’s red hot with lime, oregano, ginger, and a table spoon of guthry’s apricot jam
into the pan.
6. think about mustard.
7. liquid from ichi ban
into the pan.
8. find a rice cooker top
on top of the pan.
9. let it simmer. have some triscuits as you wait for full effect.
10. chicken, with master blend of spices,
out of the pan
into the ichi ban.
11. try not to be a crazy person and let the entire chem 101 lab know that your not following the exact ”reactants and procedure” seen in your lab manual. and when the TA comes round and smells your amazing breakfast, give her a wink and say that you got confused, then maybe tap the end of your green nose. start singing jamie t’s “if you got the money” cuz that got a good laugh out of your lab partner earlier that day.
your TA might kick you out, or report you to dr. norman gee, but know worries. either bribe them with your dish or tell you you will call
bobby flay
.
.
p.s. make sure to get guthry’s appricot jam back by the next morning or he will bring the pain. also remember the acient proverb “one frozen chicken breast in the back pack = one mediochre grade on the post lab” – nose the cost.
