next to the toffee tree

1.two packages of 11 cent no name ichi-ban

into the pot. (when i say pot i mean put them in a dirty micro-wave and let er rip.)

2.one disturbingly large frozen chicken breast

into the micro wave. (actually you shouldn’t do this, cuz it stinks up the area and people will call you a green nose)

3. chicken

into the pan.

4. look at your spices, nothing eh? no curry powder? open some weird chicken tikka marinade that smells horrific. close. do not use!

5. cumin, sesame seeds, mike’s red hot with lime, oregano, ginger, and a table spoon of guthry’s apricot jam

into the pan.

6. think about mustard.

7. liquid from ichi ban 

into the pan.

8. find a rice cooker top

on top of the pan.

9. let it simmer. have some triscuits as you wait for full effect.

10. chicken, with master blend of spices,

out of the pan

into the ichi ban.

11. try not to be a crazy person and let the entire chem 101 lab know that your not following the exact ”reactants and procedure” seen in your lab manual. and when the TA comes round and smells your amazing breakfast, give her a wink and say that you got confused, then maybe tap the end of your green nose. start singing jamie t’s “if you got the money” cuz that got a good laugh out of your lab partner earlier that day.

your TA might kick you out, or report you to dr. norman gee, but know worries. either bribe them with your dish or tell you you will call

bobby flay

.

.

p.s. make sure to get guthry’s appricot jam back by the next morning or he will bring the pain. also remember the acient proverb “one frozen chicken breast in the back pack = one mediochre grade on the post lab” – nose the cost.